I have been told I have a gift. An ability to do something glorious. And most of the time I don’t even realize I’m doing it. In my everyday life, I’m a chipper and smiley, lighthearted individual and it translates into the words that come out of my mouth. Even when those words aren’t the most pleasant. I, Caitlin Maharg, can tell someone to pretty much fuck off without them even realizing it! And it is fucking awesome!
I’m not sure if this is a natural gift one has to naturally have or if it can be learned. However, I would like to enlighten you with some insights that may help you to tell someone to fuck off, without the nasty repercussions that often ensue from the individual being told to fuck off!
The benefits of doing this is that you won’t feel angry or like you did anything wrong after it’s over and complete. This is important to me. I can tell someone I love to fuck off. I know they love me too and I always will admit my faults and apologize and reconcile with them fairly quickly. That’s just the way I am. I often times though feel a sense of guilt after I stand up for myself with strangers, acquaintances, and friends. This is an insecurity of mine that I’m working on. And looking back on this topic, I realize I don’t even know if this is a true observation because I’ve never told a stranger to fuck off directly. Someday I’d like to tell a stranger to fuck off. That’s a future goal of mine. Until then, I like to indirectly tell them.
Even when you indirectly tell someone to fuck off, trust me they will get the idea, and in my opinion it will hurt them even more. When you indirectly tell someone to fuck off they will walk away perhaps even smiling at the interaction you just had with them. However, within a couple minutes of walking away they will feel a slight pain in their chest and with that the realization “Oh my god! Did she just tell me to fuck off? She was smiling and so happy though?” Did she?! No, she wouldn’t do that.” Well, yes I would! I got you!
This is a gift I became aware of with my friends and co-workers. Co-workers told me that when I wasn’t working that’s when everything would go wrong. Customers would get angry and back talk to them but when I was there everyone was happy and everything was in order. I could tell a customer to pretty much get the hell out of my way or to do something and they would do it. However, if one of my co-workers said the exact same thing, the customer would lash out and speak their mind. Then a manager would have to get involved and a bunch of unnecessary bullshit would go down. My friend Tiffany told me the same thing. And now I wonder if I’ve done that to her. Sorry chica if I did. Didn’t mean any harm. Love you!
Even as a child my mom said I was the same way. I was a quiet and shy little girl. But my mom said I had what she called, stormy eyes. A grown man could talk to me and I could just look at him and make him feel like a complete idiot and make him walking away squirming that a tiny little girl just made him feel so insecure.
Like I said earlier, people view me as such a positive, happy person that they never expect me to sass them in anyway. So that’s the first advice I give you. Be genuine and be caring and be positive. Then when you get angry they will take you seriously because they will think that if you are giving sass it must be justified because you normally don’t give sass.
Also, when the moment comes to directly tell someone to fuck off, try not to say the words “Fuck Off.” And no matter what you say, say it will confidence and most importantly say it will a smile or a smirk on your face! I find chuckling and or even outwardly laughing helps. When you chuckle and tell someone to fuck off it completely throws them off. They think you are joking but at the same time they will do what you tell them to do! They will walk away with a smile but trust me when they realize someone just told them to fuck off and they didn’t realize it in that moment, they will feel like shit! It worked!
With many things in my life, I just don’t get too bothered. I mostly look at the world in a positive light. Some call me naive but I know that it’s not true. I’m just pure hearted. Look at the world in a positive manner. I had a friend in college who told me how some people will drive around looking for a parking space and if it’s faraway they will bitch and moan about this mundane thing. Other people will find one far away and it won’t bug them, they will just be happy that they found a place to park. Also, I remember reading something which I believe was in Tony Robbins, “Awaken the Giant Within.” Never did quite finish that book, but anyway he mentioned how these twins had a father who did drugs and committed crimes and spent most of his life in jail. One of the twins followed in his father footsteps and spent his life incarcerated. When asked why, he blamed his father and said that it was his childhood that made him this way. The other twin became a successful man with a happy life. When asked why, he also blamed his father for it but in a different way. He said after seeing his father fail in life, he couldn’t help but want a better life for himself.
I’m pretty much saying, it’s all how you look at things. So don’t let minor things bug you and try not to go around getting upset about stupid things and telling someone to screw off. But if someone does annoy the shit out of you, now you know a little trick I use to get rid of them and to smile about your life choices afterwords.